1. |
The Body Keeps Score
05:47
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My name was abandoned
Left to tend these secrets
My will survived
By numbing out the rest
My trembling mouth
It creaked out these concerns
But you never heard, you...
Flailed my failing hopes
Escape's an idea I chase
When those who should protect you look the other way
No room for words like resist
Am I being punished for daring to exist?
But I exist
Found a way to make it through:
Wait for it to end
My body, my bones will
Bear these transgressions
Disavowed and disowned
But the rest of me
Must flee to find
Some other home
I've counted the hours
Over bitter years I've cowered
Stored in my flesh
My life's not mine
I've counted the hours
Over bitter years I've cowered
This body – it knows what comes next
This body – it knows
This body – it acts on its own
You are no longer in control
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2. |
All Instinct
03:20
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Strength surrounds, so I pretend to be strong
Mask the scent of my fear, 'cause it gives me away
Only makes the hunters close in faster
I am falling down a hole I live in
I'm falling in
I grasp for control – re-enact what I know
Goddamn the risks, besides it's all instinct
But the world it gnaws – seems like I'll be handed my fate
I am falling down a hole I live in
I'm falling in
I'm falling
Finding safety
Is going to kill me
What was taken
Is going to take me
I'm falling
I'm falling
I'm falling now
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3. |
Carved
05:31
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I'd sooner start a war
Than cage these words inside my chest
The cruelest triumphs live in silence
We're tying bells to sinking knives
A witness to the wounds kept fresh
Each time our gaze averts
They won't see you...
Crawl inside your shame
You start to call it home
Carved into your skin
Only way to really know
There is a comfort in pretending
Dig a hole and don't peek out
But when that dirt starts falling in
Who will hear your cries for help?
There are too few who will accept
Comfort's resolve can kill
There are too few who will refute
Such bitter promises
So ghoulish and routine
Crawl inside your shame
You start to call it home
Carved into your skin
Only way to really know
Will you hear this?
I'd sooner start a war
Than gild this silence
No way to escape unscathed
And I have not divined a way
I have not divined a way to heal
So I'll kill... so I'll kill...
So I'll try to kill the source
I have accepted that this is my lot in life
The only way to sleep when I'm hurtling through the night
If this silence can't be brought to sound then
Rest please find me now
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4. |
Hexed Reckoning
03:45
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As I tore down that cursed road
The trees all seemed to lurch
Rising up and blacking out a pulsing moon observing all
And in casted shadows demons devour
Our waning naïveté
I swear I saw your face
Looming
In the dark reaches above
And that's when it broke
White-knuckled breaths descend
I swear I saw your face floating in the night
And while I'm not a religious man
Just tonight I hope I'm wrong
'Cause all I want is for some force to keep you bonded
'Til I come to write your end
I swear I saw your face
Looming
In the dark reaches above
Conjures the whispers of your unprotected prey
They're giving me so many wicked reasons
So many wicked reasons
I swear I saw your face
Pleading to explain
So ripe to take revenge
Now I will haunt you back
Now I will haunt you!
I swear I saw your face
In my very own
Purgatory revenge fantasy and now I can't let go
I can't let go
I can't let go
I swear I saw your face floating in the night
And I will serve this reckoning to you
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5. |
Heaped Upon Us
05:48
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How to begin?
Some introductions are in order
I am the used. I am the banished.
I am the wretched waste he had to taste
He had the plans
Turned me against myself
He took my fragile state to his advantage
If I am a man, but man has broken me
How can I tread this promised path?
No matter
The destruction
Heaped upon us we are asked to just proceed
But I'm straining
Beneath the weight
Of the futility of what we're all supposed to be
And years elapse and he just slips away
And I try to sift through the debris
But there's no slowing down
You must seize your pleasures
Expectations wait impatiently
So there I go: A desecration walking
And I'd kill myself to heal
It's catching up - Now it's almost on me
When it floods in I will be pushed against the edge
Of what my life can hold
Of what my will can bear
And I'll see if I'm alone
And I will face my history
No matter
The destruction
Heaped upon us we are asked to just proceed
But I'm straining
Beneath the weight
Of the futility of what we're all supposed to be
What we're all supposed to be
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6. |
Cheap Grace
04:28
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Those of us
Wounded young
Don't sing cheap grace
So save your hymns
Your homilies
They never give without taking
It's their vanity
That makes them say
It's all part of some big plan
Suffering is not divine
It's bone and blood and fear and shame
To adorn is to deny
Sadists mark the righteous path
Turning harms to their own ends
Inflict and be absolved
Forgiveness ain't a deal you make
It's earned from toil, truth, and time
If it comes at all
They come because they're scared
They come to brandish swords
And they ain't saved just ‘cause they say.
WE say...
None of us!
Ever asked for this
To be vessels for sacrifice preserving all these lies
For us!
Who chip at these idols
We do it for dignity We do it to stay alive
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Caverns Of Pine Richmond, Virginia
CAVERNS OF PINE is the studio of project of Brad Perry and several crucial collaborators. It exists to be in solidarity with survivors of sexual violence.
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